What Will We Now Do With All That Butter?

Oh great! Now The New York Times is even talking about the tempest in our little State Fair teapot: the great "Butter Michael" fiasco. It is, and I can't possibly say this sarcastically enough, a fine piece of news with which to seize the world's attention, and "spread" our progressive reputation, if you will pardon the pun.

Shortly after the death of Michael Jackson, State Fair organizers (who annually set aside space for a cow sculpted entirely of butter -- see photo, along with other notables like Tiger Woods, Harry Potter and last year our own gymnast Shawn Johnson) announced that they would memorialize the King of Pop in Iowa's own version of Madame Tussaud's dairy museum. According to the Times article, plans were already in the works "to create a butter diorama of sorts in honor of the 40th anniversary of Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon — complete with a butter moon surface, a butter astronaut and an American flag of butter." Then, when Michael died, they apparently couldn't resist his"moonwalk" tie-in. Next time, I might suggest something a little less controversial -- like burning the flag on the Capitol steps. When the plan was announced, there was outcry. There was offense. There was righteous indignation. He was, you know, "different." At the very least.

Living, as we sometimes pretend, in a democracy, the question was put to a vote. A rarely interesting columnist who appears in our local paper whipped his readers into a voting frenzy, and almost before it had begun, the controversy was quashed. The people had spoken. The vote was in -- apparently 100,000 of them. There will be no Butter Michael. The public line from the Fair is that Jackson had no real Iowa connection -- even though the Jackson 5 performed at the Fair in 1971. I'm trying to think when Tiger Woods played here -- or Harry Potter played Quidditch here. But, then, they aren't "different."

So, we can all sleep in peace tonight. Michael Jackson is out. Our butter is safe for another year. That resolved, maybe now we can move forward on lesser concerns like climate change, affordable health care, and the industrialization of our food supply. And peace, while we are at it -- beating our butter swords into butter pruning hooks. I wonder how those 100,000 will vote on that.

Just a thought.