A fat book loaned to me by a friend has immersed me in Lincoln of late. Though my reading schedule has allowed steady but only slow progress, every page has brought an education; and here and there, an awakening. For example, how did my education – or my retention – overlook the closing lines of Lincoln's inaugural address? Spoken at a time when at least one state had already seceded from the Union – spurred on by Lincoln’s own election – and rumors of assassination forced his covert arrival into the capital city, Lincoln strove to address the concerns of both North and South. And then this conclusion:
We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.
“We are not enemies, but friends. …the better angels of our nature.” The recent years of electoral combat, the polarization of progressive and conservative Christians, the strident arguments over bullying and civil rights for those of varying sexual orientations – to say nothing of warfare in the global community - make Lincoln sound like a contemporary. According to playwright John PatrickShanley (Doubt), Americans have shifted into a "courtroom culture." "It's evident in political talk shows, in entertainment coverage, in artistic criticism of every kind, in religious discussion," he writes. "Discussion has given way to debate. Communication has become a contest of wills."
The Des Moines Register (12/12/06) recently cited Deborah Tannen's best-seller The Argument Culture: Stopping America's War of Words, "When you're having an argument with someone, your goal is not to listen and understand. Instead, you use every tactic you can think of — including distorting what your opponent just said — in order to win."
His against hers. Hers against theirs. Theirs against ours. Us against them. We are not enemies, but friends, Lincoln wrote, and I pray we find a way to remember. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.
Imagine what we might hear if we were to take his words to heart, allowing the “mystic chords” of humankind to be strummed by “the better angels of our nature.”
3 comments:
This reminds me of something I've learned previously about four kinds of conversation - - debate, discussion, learning conversations, and dialogue. Debate, on the one end of the continuum, involves contention in words, an intention to convince, a focus on listening to find weakness, and an end result of Win-Lose polarization. By contrast, dialogue in conversation involves exploring underlying assumptions and surfacing core questions with the end result of new insights, shifts in thinking, and a compulsion to act. What would it take to move toward more dialogue in our conversations?
Explore underlying assumptions
• Find and surface core questions
• Results: New insights, shifts in thinking, compulsion to act
How interesting it is to read words written 140 years ago and to find them so current. For a man self- educated in most part, Lincoln seemingly lives forever. We still learn from him don't we.
Watching friends caught in the midst of a situation manifesting the win-lose, adversarial culture makes this discussion very pertinent for me. What a reminder of the universality of the personal (and vice versa).
Like the "Preacher" said (in the Hebrew book of Ecclesiastes), "There is no new thing under the sun..."
Human nature seems to default to competition, and the challenge is to instead attempt cooperation, listening, understanding other points of view.
Just as we need two eyes (or ears) to improve the accuracy of our sense perceptions, a myopic view of life needs to be moderated by the viewpoint of others in order to behold a more realistic experience of life.
Listening to alternative outlooks is a challenge and doesn't come naturally, but it certainly can expand one's own capacity for living more fully.
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