Barrington, our Welsh Corgi puppy (still puppy to us, though now 8 years old) is not shy about asking. Unencumbered by the protocols of timing or hospitality, if he has a wish, he communicates it. When craving the blessing of affectionate touch, he whirls over on his back, white tummy fully exposed, to convey the unmistakable plea, "rub me." When it is meal time -- even when it isn't though hunger encourages the deception -- his herding genetics have a way of nuzzling and circling us toward the kitchen. Bathroom breaks are similarly reminded. And it isn't at all uncommon, in the midst of a conversation with friends or a stolen moment with a book, to find his gnarled tennis ball silently but assertively nudged into my lap. Barrington takes his needs into his own hands and pursues them with, well, dogged determination.
It reminds me of a community organizing training program I traveled cross-country to attend in recent years. Arriving at the conference center I found no signs with information posted, no instructions displayed on tables, no hosts to welcome or direct. What I mistook for carelessness I soon learned was the first aspect of the teaching: "if you want to know something, ask; if you want someone else to know something, tell them."
Whether it is timidity or some convoluted sense of "politeness," I have a difficult time learning that lesson -- with assuming responsibility for my own needs, thoughts, hopes and wants, instead of assuming that those around me will magically or mysteriously or mystically know. Perhaps it would help if I understood that clarity is not an affront, but a gift, and responsibility is not an arrogance or a demand, but a contribution.
The world and those inhabitants of it closest to me are not obligated to meet my needs or grant my wishes, but they have a right to know what they are. Across the room I see that Barrington has flipped over again and is looking my way. "Good boy," I call to him as I set aside this computer and rise from my chair, "thanks for the continuing education."
It reminds me of a community organizing training program I traveled cross-country to attend in recent years. Arriving at the conference center I found no signs with information posted, no instructions displayed on tables, no hosts to welcome or direct. What I mistook for carelessness I soon learned was the first aspect of the teaching: "if you want to know something, ask; if you want someone else to know something, tell them."
Whether it is timidity or some convoluted sense of "politeness," I have a difficult time learning that lesson -- with assuming responsibility for my own needs, thoughts, hopes and wants, instead of assuming that those around me will magically or mysteriously or mystically know. Perhaps it would help if I understood that clarity is not an affront, but a gift, and responsibility is not an arrogance or a demand, but a contribution.
The world and those inhabitants of it closest to me are not obligated to meet my needs or grant my wishes, but they have a right to know what they are. Across the room I see that Barrington has flipped over again and is looking my way. "Good boy," I call to him as I set aside this computer and rise from my chair, "thanks for the continuing education."
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1 comment:
Good Job. Jim
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