Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Kicking up Whatever Dust I Have Left

I'm not old enough to be this nostalgic. Maybe it was going to see the new Get Smart movie and all the other "old" TV shows it made me think of and want to watch again. Maybe it is fed by the old Lone Ranger radio episodes I have been listening to on my iPod. Maybe it has something to do with the old reel-to-reel tape of David and I singing together in high school I found in the box of memorabilia brought back from my parents' move. Maybe it has to do with the old slides I have been scanning into digital form. Whatever is the explanation, it seems that I have been spending an inordinate amount of time lately looking backwards rather than forwards.

Perhaps it is the inevitable challenge that grows increasingly complicated the longer one lives: integrating a constantly growing number of experiences and memories and relationships and accomplishments into the ongoing opportunities and demands of the present and the future. However large may be the mountain of sand representing the whole of one's life that starts out on one side of the scale, every passing day moves some of that sand to the other side. Before you know it, the arms of the scale begin to tilt in a different direction.

Maybe that's what's on my mind -- less nostalgia than a nagging sense of mortality. Shifting sands. No amount of rerun-watching is going to obscure the fact that life, regardless of how long it turns out to be, is short. Which is to say that I had better quick sulking around, wake up, and plunge into however much I have left -- kicking up a little dust instead of simply watching it shift and settle.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The events of the past have shaped you into the person you are today. Nothing wrong with taking an extended look back sometimes, for a little perspective and appreciation of where you are today. Life IS short, but sometimes when you're at the top of a hill, it's good to look back and see where you've been, acknowledge all that you've accomplished and the distance you've traveled, before you start down the other side. Start kicking that dust again when you're ready.

Anonymous said...

Life is certainly going fast for all of us. Reminising is a lovely way to pass the time and can prove to be instructive at handling the future for us.